Say what you need to say

Really, say what you're gonna say. Don't hold back, because honestly, it just screws you over in the end.  Think about it, you're upset with a friend and you tell everyone around you that you're upset with said friend except her.  What does that do for you? Just leaves you pissed off and leaves your friend unaware there's an issue.  Or even worse, your friend finds out that you've been talking about her to everyone else and then gets mad at you for not confronting her in the first place. You're f'ed.

Have someone that you really care about but you're too shy to say it because it's "not the right time" or because you're scared. Maybe he or she will reject you, maybe they'll think you are coming on too strong. Or maybe, something might happen to him or her, or even to you and you never told them how you felt. Or maybe they got sick and tired of waiting for you to grow a pair and speak up so they leave.

We need to take control of ourselves and come clean.  Face your issues because when you leave them in the dark, that's where they stay -in the dark and who knows what else might be back there to come out and bite you in the ass later on.  It's never going to be the right time, and we might make mistakes in the process, but that's just life. Our mistakes, our triumphs- make us who we are each day. They make us stronger and build our character.

And wouldn't it be nice to say to yourself at the end of the day- At least I was honest.

What women want

#whatwomenwant was trending on Twitter this evening so I thought I'd comment on the phrase.

What do women want? or maybe is it what do men want? Because so often I see young women tripping over themselves to attend to the second question.  How many times do you see one of your best girlfriends, or your significant other, drop everything for a guy.  Does she stop hanging out with everyone else because so and so said he "might" hang out with her? Or how about you see her hanging on every word he says on the first or second date and then sleeps with him on the third because "he's perfect", "he's exactly what I want", "he said I'm different."

Yeah sweetie, you look different. But if you want to know what guys want.. I'll let you in on a little secret. First, they want to get in your pants. Sorry guys, it's true. They want a chase. Men are hunters, they always have been and they always will be, so ladies, let them chase you.

And you know what that means... it means what men really want, is a bitch.  Now I don't say bitch, as a woman who is mean and nasty to everyone around her. A bitch is a women who stands up for what she wants, who knows who she is, and won't let anyone-man or woman- stand in her way or mistreat her.  A bitch is a woman who respects herself; who is sweet as pie, but doesn't let anyone play her for a fool. She knows her worth, and knows that she'll be just fine-with or without him.  She lets him take her out, lets him open the door, but doesn't let him come over at 2 a.m. Why? Because any man who respects you, won't be calling at 2 a.m. because he knows how busy you are. And because any man who's calling at 2 a.m, is just looking for a booty call.  A bitch doesn't sit by the phone waiting for his phone call either, because the bitch has her own life and just because a man is in it, doesn't mean her world stops turning.  If he can keep up with her, he can stay in it, but the bitch is not looking for a weigh-me-down.

The bitch doesn't try and fix his broken wings, because she's flying honey. Now ladies and gentlemen, don't get me wrong, the bitch is sweet as pie. She's never nasty and never lets her emotions take the reigns because she knows that an emotional woman is not a woman in control.  She lets her man, be a man, while she enjoys the benefits of doing so.  A man never likes to be told what to do, so the bitch never nags, why? Because the bitch wants to be his lover, not his mother.

The bitch is elegant but sassy.  Clever but dumb like a fox.  Generous but does not jump through hoops to impress him.  The man is already impressed with her true self. And why? Because she respects herself, she respects him, and that's what's sexy. She doesn't vocalize how she should be treated, she shows it through her actions.  She's sexy, sassy, and 100% real.

"One of the things about equality is not that you be treated equally to a man, but that you treat yourself equally to the way you treat a man"- Marlo Thomas

Beauty

There are so many distractions in our lives these days. Walk down the street in a busy city and what will you see:  a man on a cell phone, a woman texting, a couple taking pictures with their new digital camera, someone tuning all those people out with his iPod. Do we ever stop to appreciate the things around us? Or have we all turned into zombies of technology, walking idly through our days.

Don't you think that being "connected" is really DISconnecting us from each other.  Why tell your best friend the important news in person if you can just do it via Skype. We're missing something here.  We're missing the whole point.  Face-to-face communication, interaction with other is destroying us at the very time it's trying to bring us together.  How? you may wonder. Well, think of it this way, if you weren't always "connected", what would you be doing? Would you read? Would you take a walk in the park or on the beach and marvel at nature's beauty? Would you meet up with a friend or a love and talk for hours- really talk, about life, about you, about them, and anything else in between. Think of how peaceful things would be to disconnect for a while and really connect with life. How would that make you feel?

This next week, try to disconnect for a while; for five minutes even, and take a look at something beautiful.  Think of all the possibilities that arise when you appreciate the things around us, without the technology. Think of how free you'll feel when you take a step back, and breathe.

Believe that dreams come true every day

Take a look at yourself in the mirror, who do you see looking back? is it the person you wanna be? or is there someone you were meant to be? the person you should have been but fell short of? is someone telling you can't or you won't? because u can. believe that love is out there. believe that dreams come true every day, because they do. sometimes, happiness doesn't come from money, fame, or power. Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family. And from the quiet nobility of leading a good life. believe that dreams come true every day. Because they do. BELIEVE that dreams come true every day. because they do...so take a look at yourself in that mirror and remind yourself..to be happy because you deserve to be.. believe that. and believe that dreams come true every day.. because they do. 

Just fine

It's days like today that I appreciate the sunshine, the peace, the fall wind on my face. Because on days like today, I look to my side and there you are, making me smile.  We may not agree all the time and we fight, but we have each other and that's just fine. We trust each other and we trust in the magic of us, because that magic is something so beautiful that it's a shame not everyone in the world gets to experience it.

The beauty of this life is finding someone to share it with. Finding someone who makes you laugh, challenges you, and respects you; someone who believes in you when you forget to believe in yourself and someone who you find irresistible.  Life is going to push you, beat you, and really mess you up sometimes, but if you have someone to face each new day with, it makes the biggest challenges manageable.

The Mix Tape

Ever wonder how a simple mix tape can really turn simple songs that separately don't belong, but together, they become a story?  And even though they're really not called Mixed Tapes anymore because now we have iPods, iPads, and the like, we still consider them mixed tapes.

I used to make one every month, sometimes twice a month depending on the events that unfolded before me.  Making different playlists for boyfriends was always my specialty.  Each man in my life had a playlist, he had those songs that instantly gave you butterflies whenever one of the songs came on.  And then, when that man left you life, there was a consequential breakup mix that came along with him.  I still think of certain guys whenever I hear one of those breakup songs.

There were mixed tapes for going out, some for when you stayed in, rainy day mixes, and mixes for cleaning, or cooking.  You could really make a mixed tape for just about any event that you came across and then re-use them over again. 

Listening to those songs, told a story. A story of a certain part of our lives.  A part of our lives we can re-visit anytime we want, just by pressing play.  The lyrics, the music, everything about the list brings out such vivid details, it amazes me how powerful music really is. And that's beautiful.

"Where words fail, music speaks" - Hans Christian Andersen

Future

It's definitely been a while since I posted to you all last and a lot has happened.  I find myself finally at peace with many of the things I thought I had no control over.  But we always have control, at least with ourselves and how we react to situations that present themselves in our lives.  And a lot of these things come with ease if you have a little bit of confidence in yourself.

So often does fear hold us back from the lives we want, the things we love, the you that you should be.  We're too afraid of being rejected, or of failing. But why? Why are we afraid? Is it because of what others may think? If so, tell them to go to hell!  Love yourself, be confident, and if and when you do fail (because we all do) try again, try harder, find another path to go down because when you are afraid, you never become the real you. You never let "YOU" shine and when that happens, all hope is lost

‎"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson"