Distance

"You live too far away.
Your voice rings like a bell anyway.
Don't give up your independence, unless it feels so right.
Nothing good comes easily, sometimes you've got to fight."
"Amber" by 311

They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but does it? Or does it just make the mind more fearful? Does it make us anxious that maybe the one we love, will find someone else to love in our absence; that maybe this distance thing is just too hard to do?  Well, the way I see it is that love and distance is a challenge that forces us to face our fears; that also challenges us to see how strong our faith is.

Faith is a very powerful thing:
"[It] faith, is a way of saying, 'Yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding.' There's a reason why we refer to 'leaps of faith' - because the decision to consent to any divinity is a might jump from the rational over to the unknowable.  If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition-  faith.  Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark.  If we truly knew all the answers in advance as tothe meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity; it would be .... a prudent insurance policy"  - Eat, Pray, Love.

 I guess that's truly the way I see love and distance. You kinda just have to have faith in yourself, faith in the person you love, and faith that whatever troubles you are facing, will work themselves through.  Because without a little bit a faith, life would just be black and white. Sometimes, it's nice to be sure of what is going to happen next, but if you think about it, isn't life just a gamble? We can expect certain things to happen at certain times, but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. We have to be flexible in trusting that whatever is frustrating you, stressing you out, or whatever, is only temporary. That maybe you live far away from each other right now, but soon, it may not be the case anymore.

I guess in turn also, you have to make sure whether or not the distance is really the thing that is bothering you or is it something else that you are afraid of. Are you afraid that once the two of you are together all the time that other intolerable problems will arise? I assume problems will arise BUT are they minor ones? Or are you afraid of something else?

It's probably hard to answer those questions now, but maybe with time you will be able to. Maybe it's just a matter of sorting through things in your mind in order to figure out what is good for you. Maybe our fears are just trying to get the best of us and instead hindering us from what truly is what we need.

"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."

Change

If change is so good, then why are we always resisting change?

I guess that's my thought of the day for you readers.  We spend so much time in our lives trying to get accustomed to the different things going on in our day to day lives that when finally things start to feel comfortable, life seems to want it to change.  Maybe it's a new baby, a new relationship, new job, loss of job; maybe it's something happy, something sad, or something completely unexpected.  Whatever it is, it's change. And change can be scary if we don't have the courage in ourselves to accept and face it.

So what do we do when faced with the adversity of change? How do we overcome our fears of the unknown in order to create something new? I think it starts with passion, persistence, and courage.  The passion to want something new, the persistence to organize it, and the courage to do it, even if there is a risk. 

Get rid of the negativity of 'I can'ts' and 'I shouldn't' and the "I've been doing this so long" or "This is who I am".  Find your passions, find what makes you happier than you have ever been, and just do it.

When change happens, embrace it. Make it work for you.  You might surprise yourself with what you will accomplish.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


William Ernest Henley



Say what you need to say

Really, say what you're gonna say. Don't hold back, because honestly, it just screws you over in the end.  Think about it, you're upset with a friend and you tell everyone around you that you're upset with said friend except her.  What does that do for you? Just leaves you pissed off and leaves your friend unaware there's an issue.  Or even worse, your friend finds out that you've been talking about her to everyone else and then gets mad at you for not confronting her in the first place. You're f'ed.

Have someone that you really care about but you're too shy to say it because it's "not the right time" or because you're scared. Maybe he or she will reject you, maybe they'll think you are coming on too strong. Or maybe, something might happen to him or her, or even to you and you never told them how you felt. Or maybe they got sick and tired of waiting for you to grow a pair and speak up so they leave.

We need to take control of ourselves and come clean.  Face your issues because when you leave them in the dark, that's where they stay -in the dark and who knows what else might be back there to come out and bite you in the ass later on.  It's never going to be the right time, and we might make mistakes in the process, but that's just life. Our mistakes, our triumphs- make us who we are each day. They make us stronger and build our character.

And wouldn't it be nice to say to yourself at the end of the day- At least I was honest.

Future

It's definitely been a while since I posted to you all last and a lot has happened.  I find myself finally at peace with many of the things I thought I had no control over.  But we always have control, at least with ourselves and how we react to situations that present themselves in our lives.  And a lot of these things come with ease if you have a little bit of confidence in yourself.

So often does fear hold us back from the lives we want, the things we love, the you that you should be.  We're too afraid of being rejected, or of failing. But why? Why are we afraid? Is it because of what others may think? If so, tell them to go to hell!  Love yourself, be confident, and if and when you do fail (because we all do) try again, try harder, find another path to go down because when you are afraid, you never become the real you. You never let "YOU" shine and when that happens, all hope is lost

‎"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson"

Fear of flying

FEAR

What does it mean to be afraid? To fear for the future and where your life is at this moment? Does it takes away from who you are as a person? Or is it just a speed bump in the road of life? I can't seem to think that fear keeps us from truly experiencing life. That when we are afraid of the future because what we have experienced in the past, we cannot truly take advantage of the present. And that right now, the present, is preparing us for the future. And what does that mean for the people around us? Do we leave the people we care about behind because we are too afraid of our own greatness? Too afraid that life will prove us right in our fears and disappoint once again? Or do we take what we have learned in the past and use it as fuel to face our fears because we know inside that everything will turn out the way it should; that each experience, good, bad, or otherwise, is a preparation for something greater to come along and that we must embrace it and take it with us in the future. It should not keep us from experiencing greatness and moving forward.


You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt