Figuring it all out

Relationship Principle 73
"In life, half the battle has to do with the lens you choose to see yourself through.  Your fulfillment hinges on whether you see yourself through a positive lens or a negative one."
-Sherry Argov

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


William Ernest Henley



Shaping Ourselves into Destruction

I've talked about forgiveness and the past here before but it happens to be one of those issues that people constantly struggle from so here we go again:

Each day as we take in new information and process it into our heads and into our hearts do we ever take a minute to realize what it is that information is doing to us? Has what you learned mad you bitter? angry? or has it lifted your spirits and made you appreciate where you were and look forward to where you will be. Unfortunately for many it is the former.  

When information you digest hardens you inside, you are ultimately shaping your mind body and soul into a place of self-destruction.  Although you may believe that you are "stronger" and "wiser" for it, those who are truly stronger and wiser know that we all have a choice and that when we chose a path of arrogance and bitterness, we are nor stronger nor wiser, but rather frail and afraid. 

So why then, do so many of us chose to let that bitterness and arrogance inside of us? Because we are too afraid that to risk any hurt, so by hurting others around you with your vengeful attitude, you trick yourself into believing you are protecting yourself, when if you really think about it, you are just putting yourself into a position where you will ultimately be alone. But at least you'll have your pride to keep you warm at night.

Do you know someone who feels that life has dealt them a bad hand in the past? Someone who goes to therapy and talks and talks and talks about how angry they are about what HAD happened to them as a kid but that's all they do.. they just talk about it.  Well if you are that person, I challenge you.  I challenge you to stop whining about what happened and don't let what happened be an excuse to hurt others because you are the only one who can control your actions, no one else is to blame but yourself.  Change the future and stop living in the past because while everyone around you is moving on, your bitterness and resentment will only grow into something so unmanageable that no therapist or drug will ever be able to guide you in the right direction.  It is up to you.

Stop destroying your life and the lives of others around you.  Accept that the past has happened but you need not repeat nor continue to live in it.  Accept responsibility for your actions.  And keep an open mind that there is someone waiting for you to return to your normal self. 

"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising." 

-Maya Angelou

When you say nothing at all

If a relationship doesn't 'better' you 

then you better find one that does. 

Twitter

Identity

Who are you? What do you want from this life? Are you looking to be successful? Have lots of money? Get married? What are your goals, values, priorities? Is it something simple like being happy?

Have you done something to achieve those goals or are you just waiting for them to happen to you? Things don't just happen, not matter what you think.  There was always something that prepared you for the next step, even if it does look like you just got "lucky".  Maybe you decided to just show up and you met the girl or boy of your dreams.  Maybe a lot of bad things happened so you could appreciate the good things you have now.  Maybe you worked your butt off now so that in the future you won't have to work so hard later.
Sounds like a lot of maybe's doesn't it?

But that's life isn't it.  If we don't take the first step, there will never be a second.  We'll never fail nor will we ever succeed. Sometimes we just have to put ourselves out there and pray that we don't fail but understand that through failure comes knowledge and wisdom and the power to fight through it and succeed.

Maybe the first step is loving yourself.  If that's your first step, why not start right now? Why not close your eyes, take a deep breath and let it all go; the pain, the fear, and whatever else is holding you back.
If you're thinking to yourself "easier said than done", it's not. You just have to actually do it.

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Did you try? Feels good doesn't it? The first breath of what will soon become your next step into who you are; who are you meant to be.

All it takes is one breath, one step, one leap of faith in yourself.

"Believe that dreams come true everyday, because they do"

OTH

Happiness

Happiness is a mood, not a destination.

-One Tree Hill

A Journey

Do you appreciate the journey or are you always looking at the finish line?
Now sure, to have an idea on where you are going is great, but sometimes, with all the distractions going on around us, it might be hard to stop, step back, and enjoy the road we're on; to admire the trees, the flowers, and the person we are on this journey with.

When you admire the journey and really, truly appreciate it, we have a better understanding of life and of ourselves.  And then when shit hits the fan, we're able to jump back in the game because we know where we are.  Sometimes, we become so focused on the destination we can't see where we are going.  We go into autopilot, concentrating our focus too much on the fact that we're not there, or that we need to be there by a specific time or a specific date.  When we get lost, we're unable to find our way back because we didn't take the time to appreciate the road around us.

Stop doing it. Enjoy each bite, each kiss, each breath, because before you know it- you'll be at your destination and never know how you got there.