Shaping Ourselves into Destruction

I've talked about forgiveness and the past here before but it happens to be one of those issues that people constantly struggle from so here we go again:

Each day as we take in new information and process it into our heads and into our hearts do we ever take a minute to realize what it is that information is doing to us? Has what you learned mad you bitter? angry? or has it lifted your spirits and made you appreciate where you were and look forward to where you will be. Unfortunately for many it is the former.  

When information you digest hardens you inside, you are ultimately shaping your mind body and soul into a place of self-destruction.  Although you may believe that you are "stronger" and "wiser" for it, those who are truly stronger and wiser know that we all have a choice and that when we chose a path of arrogance and bitterness, we are nor stronger nor wiser, but rather frail and afraid. 

So why then, do so many of us chose to let that bitterness and arrogance inside of us? Because we are too afraid that to risk any hurt, so by hurting others around you with your vengeful attitude, you trick yourself into believing you are protecting yourself, when if you really think about it, you are just putting yourself into a position where you will ultimately be alone. But at least you'll have your pride to keep you warm at night.

Do you know someone who feels that life has dealt them a bad hand in the past? Someone who goes to therapy and talks and talks and talks about how angry they are about what HAD happened to them as a kid but that's all they do.. they just talk about it.  Well if you are that person, I challenge you.  I challenge you to stop whining about what happened and don't let what happened be an excuse to hurt others because you are the only one who can control your actions, no one else is to blame but yourself.  Change the future and stop living in the past because while everyone around you is moving on, your bitterness and resentment will only grow into something so unmanageable that no therapist or drug will ever be able to guide you in the right direction.  It is up to you.

Stop destroying your life and the lives of others around you.  Accept that the past has happened but you need not repeat nor continue to live in it.  Accept responsibility for your actions.  And keep an open mind that there is someone waiting for you to return to your normal self. 

"We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate --- thereby, making the present comfortable and the future promising." 

-Maya Angelou

Say what you need to say

Really, say what you're gonna say. Don't hold back, because honestly, it just screws you over in the end.  Think about it, you're upset with a friend and you tell everyone around you that you're upset with said friend except her.  What does that do for you? Just leaves you pissed off and leaves your friend unaware there's an issue.  Or even worse, your friend finds out that you've been talking about her to everyone else and then gets mad at you for not confronting her in the first place. You're f'ed.

Have someone that you really care about but you're too shy to say it because it's "not the right time" or because you're scared. Maybe he or she will reject you, maybe they'll think you are coming on too strong. Or maybe, something might happen to him or her, or even to you and you never told them how you felt. Or maybe they got sick and tired of waiting for you to grow a pair and speak up so they leave.

We need to take control of ourselves and come clean.  Face your issues because when you leave them in the dark, that's where they stay -in the dark and who knows what else might be back there to come out and bite you in the ass later on.  It's never going to be the right time, and we might make mistakes in the process, but that's just life. Our mistakes, our triumphs- make us who we are each day. They make us stronger and build our character.

And wouldn't it be nice to say to yourself at the end of the day- At least I was honest.